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More fun ... May. 23rd, 2005 @ 03:12 pm
You scored as Postmodernist. Postmodernism is the belief in complete open interpretation. You see the universe as a collection of information with varying ways of putting it together. There is no absolute truth for you; even the most hardened facts are open to interpretation. Meaning relies on context and even the language you use to describe things should be subject to analysis.








Cultural Creative










What is Your World View? (corrected...again)
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Lunch & Trash TV May. 23rd, 2005 @ 02:51 pm
I'm convinced that the downfall of the world will come because of daytime television. I was just watching MauryOprahSpringertheyreallthesame and they had a Whose Your Daddy episode. I find these funny, because anyone who goes on the show is idiotic.

My favorite part is when the show vilifies the man ... "I know I'm not that babies daddy! This girl is a whore! She was banging my (choose one or more) brother/sister/uncle/nephew/pet dog/all of the above (residents of Kentucky only)... then they are introduced and the whole audience goes crazy booing. Next the drama "I'm 5000% sure hes the daddy," "Yes, I'll take care of it if its mine," "I'm not letting you near this child," "Well fuck you then," "Thats what got us here in the first place." Finally MauryOprahSpringer opens the envelope ... and "You are NOT the father". Man does a happy dance knowing that his sex life will still exist, and that he will save more money than switching to Geico. Woman goes running into the back room sobbing because she just realized how much of a whore she actually is.

The lesson? Don't have sex unless you are ready to deal with what might happen. No birth control is 100% effective, and as much as you can cut down the chances, G-d is going to do with you what he wants.

Oh yea ... I forgot ... don't be a whore either.

Retirement and other thoughts ... May. 23rd, 2005 @ 12:48 pm
Growing up as a young child, you always know that your parents are the smartest, greatest, most invincible people in the world.

As you grow into teenager and young adulthood, you think that they are the dumbest, most intrusive, useless except for money people in the world.

And of course, as you make your way into adulthood you see the characteristics that truly make your parents remarkable.

My mother had her retirement party last night. If you don't know her, she has worked as Executive Director of the East Valley Jewish Community Center for the past 19.5 years. Someone working in a communal service position for such a time is truly remarkable. Throughout my lfie, she has put so much effort and heart into all the work she has done. She has demonstrated her passion for the Jewish community ... and the community as a whole.

I have seen her celebrate the highs of a sucessful dinner/dance fundraiser and seeing her preschool kids graduate, the lows of employment issues and financial woes, and everything in between. I've witnessed her making grueling decisions concerning scholarships and building leases. I've listened to her speak about wide ranging issues facing the Jews of the East Valley. I have gone to the JCC at 5 in the morning for a tripped security alarm. I watched her prepare dinner for our family at 9:30 at night after being at the office for over 12 hours.

For all these things and more, the community should rejoice in the work that she has done. Her heart, her effort, and her passion are examples for the selfish generation in which we live. She wakes up every day and says "What can I give today." Most people can't relate to such a comment. In today's "me" generation, we expect our Jewish agencies to do all for us, and that we deserve it just because we cut a yearly check. This opinion is so against Judaism, I don't know how to describe it without using the word "blasphemous." Judaism requires you to be involved ... to take an active role ... to give of ones self even more than you give of ones means. To give Jewishly is to give with your heart ... not just your pocketbook. My mother did all of this, and will continue to do all of these things. I hope that others can see the contribution that she has made and continue her legacy. I know that I will.

I can proudly say that I have never once doubted my mothers abilities, heart, or generosity ... especially when I was a teenager and needed a few bucks!

Such a day ... May. 20th, 2005 @ 01:14 pm
What a day ...

Woke up to take a luke warm shower ... go downstairs to check the water heater ... busted. Called the plumber, drove to parents house.

Parents cable went out last night, and I, the cable repairman/electronics technician must find the cause and repair it before my dad has a coronary. He actually called last night at 9:30 pm and when I told him I'd come in the morning he said "thats not good enough." Not good enough? OK, let me strap my technicians belt to my accountant ass and fix it, when I have no idea what the problem is. Call Cox, they said they'd get someone out on SUNDAY. Yea, thats not going to fly. Beg them for quicker service, said they'd give it a try. Leave for work 45 minutes late.

At work for 30 mins .. Plumber calls ... hes almost to my house ... I'm 15 minutes away. Rush out of the office to let the plumber in. He says water heater is broke. Quotes $450. Probably can get a lower quote, but I'll have to pay this guy for his time anwyay and would likely break even. Tell him to fix it and go back to work.

Work for another 30 minutes, Cox calls and says they are on their way. Figuring they're going to be 30 minutes after I'm there, I finish what I'm doing and head to the house. Suprisingly enough, the guy pulls in right behind me. He checks the outside box, and some dolt unhooked the cable and didn't hook it back up when he was done with whatever the hell he was doing. Cable fixed in 15 minutes or less. Back to work.

Work for another 30 minutes, plumber calls. Hes done. He was supposed to call me when he was about 15 minutes to done, so I could meet him and pay him. Instead, he is sitting in his car waiting for me, and probably charging me for his time. Bastard. Water heater works, pay them man, go back to work.

Now I'm so frustrated about the amount of time I've been out of the office and how little work I've gotten done, I'm sitting here wasting time on my LJ. Hypocritical ... yes ... Theraputic and worth it ... of course.

Hope ya'll are doing better than I

New Post ... On the English Language Apr. 29th, 2005 @ 02:46 pm
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (Surprise!). Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't
sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea or is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"
Other entries
» Interesting Article
Here's a great article by EJ Montini of the Arizona Republic. I'm not sure that you can compare the subjects, but its still very interesting.

Brawler probably believed he had a 'mandate'

E.J. Montini
Republic columnist
Nov. 28, 2004 12:00 AM

It makes no sense for so many Americans to be angry with basketball star Ron Artest, a man whose approach to life and professional sports epitomizes the new American philosophy of self-defense, defiance and pre-emption. Rather than calling Artest an undisciplined thug, I thought we would be declaring him an American hero.

Artest is the Indiana Pacers player who was suspended for the remainder of the NBA season for leaping into the stands and attacking a fan after having been struck by a cup of liquid refreshment.

According to NBA Commissioner David Stern and many others, Artest should have demonstrated more restraint.

They say that a physically superior athlete should not allow himself to be provoked by a weaker, troublesome fan. Are they serious? Are they saying that attacking an inferior opponent who has been provoking you is un-American?

The commissioner and others also say that because Artest could not pinpoint which person had flung the drink at him, he should have waited. They say that the cup didn't pose a threat to him.

Does the United Nations now control the NBA? Are they trying to say that attacking someone without solid intelligence or verifiable proof is un-American? Are they putting forth the proposition that going to war with someone who acts like a threat but is not actually a threat is un-American?

After all, Artest had endured a surprise attack from another aggressor (Detroit Pistons player Ben Wallace). Are the critics of Artest trying to say that it is wrong for an angry and frustrated individual to lash out against someone who had nothing to do with the original assault?

That kind of behavior may have been considered un-American at one time, but come on, that was way back in . . . what . . . 2003?

Artest was provoked and he struck. Also, the fan had been warned. Game tickets in the NBA clearly state that fans should not demonstrate bad behavior. How many warnings does it take?

What was Artest supposed to do? Wait for the liquid-tossing instigator to develop more potentially dangerous concoctions? Then what? Was Artest supposed to hold off until a more chemically foul drink was tossed at him? Or worse, was he supposed to allow some outside security force hired by the people who run Detroit's arena to handle the situation for him? Does the NBA believe that an American is supposed to rely on others to protect his territory? What's next? Would they expect Artest to apply some type of "global test" to a perceived threat?

Are the detractors of Artest saying that he should have taken a more "nuanced" approach to his instigator, the way a certain failed presidential candidate suggested such an approach to foreign policy?

Ron Artest in his personal behavior was only putting into practice the philosophy of his nation's president.

Wouldn't he be justified in saying that he had a "mandate" to leap into the cheap seats and pound on a couple of obnoxious bigmouths?

Isn't that the new American way? Action, not talk? Force, not diplomacy?

Remember how President Bush responded in July 2003 when a reporter asked him about possible attacks on U.S. troops in Iraq during the occupation?

Bush pointed out that some of our enemies felt that conditions were right to attack us. It's the same situation that Artest found himself in. Is it fair to condemn the basketball player for responding as his president did? After all, Artest simply said, as Bush did, "Bring 'em on."
» Vegas
Nothing big going on ... just thought I'd tell you all I'm going to be in Vegas this weekend. It's been over a year since I visited the "City of Sin" and I'm looking forward to it. I'm hoping it will solve some inner frustrations.

Unfortunately, my motivation has been really lacking lately. I find myself going though the day in a total and complete fog. I have no attention span, and my focus is definitely not on my work.

Yesterday I must have spent 2 hours looking through fuckedcompany.com. That's WAY too much time on the internet.

I'm just not accomplishing anything ... I have no sense of urgency for anything. Last weekend I had a great weekend planned. Friday night I was going to go to the Improv, Saturday I was going to clean the house, go bike riding, and clean my car. Saturday night was a party, and Sunday I was going to go Tubing with Reznikoff.

The only thing I did was go to the Party on Saturday. I spend the rest of the time just wandering through life. It's very upsetting to me. G-d gives us such a limited time on this planet. Barely enough time to make a difference, and it seems that I've just been wasting way too much of it. I'm subtracting value from my existence. Its depressing.

I've also started listening to RENT lately and realizing how motivational it is, but it makes me more depressed because I haven't been living up to my potential.

OK, so I had no idea I was going to post this much, or this depressing, of an entry, but I feel OK about it. If you read this, post a comment with a phrase, saying, quote, biblical reading, or something else that motivates you.

"No Day But Today"
» More Bush ....
About six months ago, Republican Congressman Porter Goss announced that he was unqualified to get a job with the Central Intelligence Agency. "I couldn't get a job with the CIA today. I am not qualified," said Goss. He continued by saying, "I certainly don't have the technical skills, as my children remind me every day: 'Dad, you got to get better on your computer.' So, the things that you need to have, I don't have."

So, who has George W. Bush chosen to be the next leader of the Central Intelligence Agency? That's right, it's Porter Goss!

Bush has responded to the revelations of Goss's admissions of lack of ability by saying that Goss is "the right man". Hmm. What would it take for Goss to be the wrong man?

From "Irregulartimes.com"

When will the guy admit he EVER made a mistake!
» 10 Reasons to Like Hannukah
10. No roof damage from reindeer

9. Never a silent night when you're among your Jewish loved ones

8. If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven more days to correct it

7. Betting Hanukkah gelt (the chocholate coins) on candle races

6. You can use your fireplace

5. Naked spin-the-dreidel games

4. Fun waxy buildup on the menorah

3. No awkward explanations of virgin birth

2. Cheer optional

1. No Irving Berlin songs
» I am George Bush!
For a detailed Resume, click below!!!

(I removed the ones that were really rediculous)

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